Solo mum Melanie wanted to make a difference for single mothers by choice: Now her app connects solo mums around the world

Melanie’s decision to pursue solo motherhood came from a personal realisation. Throughout her life, she had always prioritised living with intention and choosing what felt right rather than settling for the wrong things or people. She focused on her personal growth, followed her passions and surrounded herself with people and experiences that brought her joy.

But in her mid-thirties, her usual clarity was put to the test. Her desire to become a mother was strong, and for a moment, she considered staying in a relationship that didn’t feel right — simply because it seemed like the only path to motherhood. Looking back, she recognises how close she came to compromising her values in the hope of starting a family.

“My ex-partner definitely took advantage of the fact that I wanted a child, thinking I would turn a blind eye to certain behaviours in exchange for the promise of starting a family. I thought I had to make sacrifices — my happiness and my boundaries —because I believed that was the only path to becoming a mother at that point in my life,” Melanie says.

That relationship left Melanie feeling more disconnected from herself than ever before. It was a painful but important turning point that made her realise no version of motherhood should come at the cost of her own happiness. She wanted her future child to have a joyful mother, not a miserable one.

So she promised herself that she would never accept anything that compromised her well-being. Instead of rushing into a relationship for the sake of becoming a parent, she chose to pause and reflect. Her desire to be a mum hadn’t changed, but how she would get there had. She realised she didn’t need to settle and that she could become a mother on her own terms.

“I believe you can have it all,” she says, “just maybe not all at once.”

After thinking about the idea for a couple of years and doing a lot of research, she made the decision in March 2024 to pursue solo motherhood.

Melanie didn’t make the decision to become a solo mother without reservations. Her main concern was whether she would be able to care for her child independently, day and night. This made her question if she was strong enough for solo motherhood. What if she fell ill? What if something unforeseen happened to her? What if she faced an obstacle she couldn’t handle?  

Solo motherhood is a path that is neither widely recognised nor openly discussed in Switzerland where Melanie lives. She lacked a community or resources to help her connect with others who had experienced the same thing.

“When I began researching solo motherhood by choice, I quickly realised how limited the available resources were, and how excluded SMBCs felt from mainstream parenting platforms,” she explains.

While existing Facebook groups allowed members to ask questions, they often lacked the privacy and intimacy of a dedicated community for solo mums where they could share their experiences and feel less alone on their journey.

Despite being unable to find other solo mums to connect with and having concerns about becoming a parent and the workload that comes with it, Melanie chose to trust herself and take a leap of faith. She believed that she could handle any challenges that came up. Her mantra was 'one step at a time,' and she trusted that any problems would be manageable when they arose.

Melanie started IVF treatment, and her positive mindset played an important role in the treatment process. Despite undergoing several rounds of IVF, she stuck to her mantra and never lost faith that she would become pregnant.

“I was grateful for every IVF injection, as I knew it would bring me one step closer to my dream of having a baby,” she says.

Going through treatment and experiencing the journey herself, it became clear to Melanie that she wanted to create an app for single mothers by choice. She was missing a supportive community to connect with others who shared the same path, and she kept asking herself ‘Why doesn’t this exist for SMBCs?’.

She envisioned a modern, safe platform specifically designed for SMBCs, where women could ask questions, share experiences, find inspiration, and feel empowered at every stage of their journey. And most importantly it would enable SMBCs around the world to connect with each other.

“I firmly believe that if I had been able to connect with other SMBCs earlier, I would have started my journey sooner,” Melanie says, pointing out that a common regret among solo mums is wishing they had begun earlier.

“Knowledge truly is power. Understanding your options and hearing others’ stories builds confidence.”

Melanie felt it was both a privilege and a responsibility to create a space where women like herself could connect, support each other, and feel less alone.

The passion and idea for the app was all in place but Melanie did not have technical experience in app development. However, her background in social media and running a digital agency gave her valuable insights into community building, user engagement, and digital communication, which she used to build the app.

With some external help with the technical side of things from a developer, the SMBC app was born – all funded by Melanie herself.

“My goal is to ensure that no solo mum feels alone because together, we can celebrate the strength, resilience and beautiful journey of motherhood on our own terms,” she says.

Through the app, solo mums all over the world can communicate privately via direct messaging. This makes it possible for them to offer and receive support and arrange meet-ups with women nearby.

As the app came to life, another life was developing inside Melanie. After several rounds of IVF treatment, Melanie got pregnant at the age of 39 in late summer 2024. She kept her positive mindset that had helped her through fertility treatment while navigating pregnancy alone as a single mother.

“I actually felt wonderful as I was able to do as I please at any moment, not having to worry about anybody else’s expectations or feelings. And I did not feel lonely once, as it was magical to experience the journey with my little girl in my belly,” she says and adds that she shared the first ultrasound photos and updates with her parents and closest friends.

The journey she was on gave her first-hand experience of how outdated laws and societal attitudes can influence the decision to become a single mother — and how difficult the path can be to navigate.

“The disconnect between societal laws and the evolving desires and capabilities of women is a real obstacle. While individual women are breaking barriers every day, it’s a reminder that systemic change is still needed to truly support and empower solo mothers by choice everywhere,” Melanie explains.

Melanie’s wish is for people to understand that being a solo mother is an act of extraordinary courage and love. It takes confidence to challenge outdated societal norms and to prioritise one’s own path, regardless of external judgements.

“What is important to a child's happiness is not the number of people who raise them, nor their gender. What truly matters is the quality of love, support, and stability they receive,” Melanie says.

She hopes for a society that can better support solo moms by recognising that parenthood isn’t a one-size-fits-all journey, and that love, stability, and dedication are what matters.

“We need to start viewing solo motherhood as a valid and courageous choice that deserves the same respect and support as any other.”

Melanie’s journey as a solo mum is still developing. And now, in the first weeks of motherhood, it has only been reinforced that taking care of her baby on her own is the greatest joy and privilege of her life.

In her own words, she wholeheartedly enjoys every moment of it.

“All the worries I had about whether I would be strong enough for solo motherhood were much worse in my head, because the reality so far has been wonderful. If I had let my fear overtake my decisions, I would never have had the most beautiful experience and joy of motherhood and holding my baby. I strongly believe in the saying ‘The universe favours the brave’,” Melanie concludes.