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Creating a same-sex family using sperm donation
Families come in many forms, and becoming parents as a same-sex couple is a unique journey.
Choosing the right donor, via a sperm bank or a known individual marks the beginning of this journey. We understand the importance of this decision, and our aim is to make you feel equal to any other aspiring parents.
Understanding the legal landscape of sperm donation
If you are considering parenthood through sperm donation, there are some legal aspects you need to be aware of. For same-sex couples, these might include:
Donor rights and anonymity: Some countries allow ID release sperm donors, while others only allow No ID release donors. No matter what type of donor, they won’t have any parental rights or obligations towards your child.
Parental rights: In some countries, the non-biological parent may be recognised as the legal parent if you are married, in a civil partnership or have filled out the correct forms before starting treatment. In other countries, the non-carrying parent may need to adopt. You can discuss this topic with our seasoned advisors.
Clinic paperwork and agreements: Clinics typically require you to complete paperwork, which may include consent forms and agreements outlining the terms of the sperm donation and your rights as a recipient.
Treatment options for same-sex families
An important step when starting a same-sex family with donor sperm is choosing the type of fertility treatment and what your roles will be when it comes to getting pregnant.
Deciding who will carry the child
Deciding who will carry the child is one of your first steps. Health factors and personal preferences might shape this choice. Perhaps you've already chosen who will carry the child, or you've planned for one partner to carry the first child and the other to carry a second child later on. Open conversations and advice from healthcare professionals will help you navigate this decision.
Types of fertility treatment
- Intra-Cervical Insemination (ICI): The ICI method places donor sperm near or directly in the cervix using a syringe. This method differs from IUI by requiring sperm to travel further to reach the egg. Sometimes, fertility medication is used to induce ovulation, enhancing the chances of successful insemination.
- Intrauterine Insemination (IUI): For same-sex couples without fertility issues, IUI is the most common form of insemination and a more cost-effective option than other types of fertility treatment. The method involves directly inserting sperm into the uterus around the time of ovulation. Fertility medication may be used to induce ovulation, increasing the likelihood of conception.
- In Vitro Fertilisation (IVF): IVF involves fertilising an egg outside the body and then implanting the embryo in the uterus. This option is often recommended for couples facing fertility issues but is also chosen for its higher success rates compared to other methods.
- Egg Swapping or Reciprocal IVF (Shared Motherhood): This unique option allows both partners to have a biological connection to their child. One partner's egg is fertilised and implanted in the other partner's uterus, combining the genetic material of one mother with the pregnancy experience of the other. Reciprocal IVF is an excellent option for same-sex families, though not allowed in all countries. You can contact us for details on where egg swapping is permitted.
Choosing the right donor for your family
The decision to start a family through sperm donation involves choosing a donor that is right for you. There are several things to consider in the process and some of them include:
- Physical characteristics: While some same-sex couples may seek a donor whose physical characteristics closely match those of the non-biological parent, for others this may be less important. Consider what physical characteristics, if any, are important to you and your partner when choosing a donor.
- Personality and interests: Softer characteristics, such as the donor's personality, interests, and talents, can also play a role in your decision.
- ID release or no ID release: Donor-conceived children from an ID release donor have the opportunity to learn the identity of the donor when they reach legal age. Please note that some countries only allow one type of donor to either ID release or no ID release. Choosing a no ID release donor means the donor's identity remains unknown to donor-conceived children even at legal age.
- Photo Match: If you would like your donor to look like one of you, you can use our Photo Match tool. The tool compares your image with adult photos of our donors and finds donors with similar facial features.
Inspiration from other same-sex families
Hearing from families who have been through the process of starting a family using a sperm donor can be both inspiring and uplifting. One couple who have been on this journey is Hayley and Katja Schönberg. Their road to parenthood included a detour into the grey market of sperm donation and highlighted important considerations when choosing a sperm donor.
If you're interested in more real-life stories, you can find posts on our blog that look at different aspects of starting a LGBT+ family.
FAQ about same-sex families
Yes, through a process known as 'shared motherhood' or 'reciprocal IVF,' both partners can share a biological connection with their child. One partner provides the egg, which is fertilised with donor sperm, and the embryo is implanted in the other partner, who carries the pregnancy.
Legal recognition of both parents varies by country and may require additional steps beyond the birth of your child. In some countries, this involves second-parent adoption, even if you are married or in a civil partnership.
The cost of sperm donation and fertility treatments can vary widely depending on the procedures chosen, the fertility clinic, the need for multiple cycles, and additional legal or counselling services.
What is your next step?
Starting a family through sperm donation opens a world of possibilities. Here's how you can take the next steps towards making your dream of parenthood a reality.
Create an account to access donor profiles
When you create a free account, you'll access to our donor profiles, with detailed informations such as physical characteristics, personality traits, and education background. Exploring these profiles can help you get a better idea of what it’s important for you.