Solo motherhood myths: Can children thrive with one parent?
If you're thinking about becoming a solo mum by choice, you might wonder how your child’s upbringing will compare to that of children in two-parent families. But what does research say about solo motherhood?
Anne Petersen
Historically, society has often viewed two-parent families as the ideal structure for a child's development, leaving solo mums to face questions about whether their child might be at a disadvantage. So how do you address the concerns about balancing the demands of parenthood alone? A good place to start is to let science answer the questions. We have tried to take a closer look at the research that has been done in this area. And to debunk some of the most common myths that solo mums face.
Myth #1: Children need two parents to thrive
Let’s get straight to the point: according to research children raised by solo mums can thrive just as well as those in two-parent families. That’s one of the findings of the study “Single Mothers by Choice: Mother-Child Relationships and Children’s Psychological Adjustment”.
The study looks at the difference between single-parent families and two-parent families by comparing parameters such as mother-child relationship and maternal well-being for solo mums and two-parent families.
The study concludes that there are no psychological challenges for children growing up with a single parent. In fact, there was less mother-child conflict in families with single mothers. As a solo mum, you are the sole decision-maker in the family, which can be the reason why the number of conflicts in the home is reduced compared to two-parent families.
Myth #2: Single mothers can’t provide enough stability
A common concern about solo motherhood is the assumption that solo mums may find it difficult to provide financial and emotional stability. While it is true that solo mums may have a different financial situation than two-parent families, this does not automatically translate to a lack of stability for the child, and the study highlights that financial stability is just one aspect of what contributes to a child's well-being.
Women who choose to become solo mums are often in their late 30s or early 40s, they are also often well-educated and are therefore more established professionally and mentally. They have put a lot of thought into the decision and researched what it takes to be a single mother by choice. This means they can provide a lot of emotional support, stability and love which are essential for child development. Many solo mums also have well-established careers and have taken proactive steps to ensure financial security for their family.
Myth #3: Single-parent households lead to behavioral problems in children
Previous research has shown that children of single parents who divorce are more likely to have emotional and behavioural problems than children in families where the parents stayed together. This is largely because children in divorced families experience changes in their lives - both in terms of the quality of parenting and financial challenges.
The situation of a family going through a divorce is very different from the situation of a child being raised by a single mother. Solo mum families do not experience the same sudden change in life that can have a negative impact on the child. They have made an active choice about raising a child on their own and this kind of family constellation has been reality from day one.
Love and dedication are key
While debunking these myths is crucial, it's also important to acknowledge the valid concerns that aspiring solo mums may have. Raising a child on your own is undoubtedly challenging, and it's natural to worry about how to navigate these challenges.
Hopefully, this blogpost makes it clear that with intentional parenting, dedication and love, children can grow up happy and healthy, regardless of whether they are raised in a solo mum family or a two-parent household. You do not need to worry about your child’s emotional or behavioural development solely because of your family structure. Instead, focus on building a strong and supportive relationship with your child – this is what matters in the end.
If you want to know more about solo motherhood and what to expect about the process, you can read our solo mum guide.
About the study
The study included 51 solo mothers and 52 two-parent families. Different parameters were measured, including mother-child relationship, the amount and type of conflicts, and the amount and quality of interactions.
Get access to the full study here.
FAQ about solo motherhood myths
- Do children of solo mums struggle emotionally?
Research shows that children raised by solo mums by choice thrive just as well as those in two-parent families. - Is it harder to raise a child alone?
Raising a child can be both deeply rewarding and challenging, no matter if you're a solo mum or in a two-parent family. Many solo mums have well-established careers and plan proactively to secure both financial and emotional stability. - Can a single mum provide enough love and support?
Yes, research shows that children can grow up happy and healthy, no matter if they are raised in a solo mum family or a two-parent household. - Does solo motherhood harm child development?
Research has shown that behavioural problems in children are more closely linked to experiencing a life-changing event, such as a divorce within the family, than to being raised by a single parent.
