Reciprocal IVF: A complete guide to shared motherhood
Reciprocal IVF is a unique option for same-sex couples wanting to start a family. At European Sperm Bank, we are here to guide you through the process and help you find the right sperm donor.

What is Reciprocal IVF?
Reciprocal IVF, also known as shared motherhood or the ROPA method, is a type of fertility treatment for same-sex couples where both partners can have a biological connection to their child. Eggs are collected from one partner and fertilised with donor sperm. The resulting embryo is then transferred to the other partner's uterus who will carry the pregnancy to term and give birth to the baby.
The procedure of reciprocal IVF is similar to IVF. The main difference is that both partners are part of the pregnancy – one donates the egg and the other carries the pregnancy.
Reciprocal IVF is a unique way of starting a family, but it is not allowed in all countries.
Reciprocal IVF step by step
A typical reciprocal IVF timeline contains the following steps:
- Hormone stimulation and egg retrieval: The partner providing the eggs takes hormone medication to stimulate the ovaries and develop multiple eggs. These eggs are collected during a short procedure.
- Fertilisation: The retrieved eggs are fertilised with donor sperm in a laboratory to create embryos.
- Embryo development: The fertilised eggs grow into embryos over a few days.
- Preparation for the transfer: Before the embryo transfer, the partner receiving the embryo takes medication to prepare the lining of the womb.
- Embryo transfer: An embryo is selected and transferred into the uterus of the partner who will carry the pregnancy.
- Pregnancy test: Around two weeks later, a pregnancy test determines if implantation was successful.
How long does reciprocal IVF take?
A cycle of reciprocal IVF usually takes between 6-10 weeks from hormone stimulation to embryo transfer. This will vary depending on whether you have a frozen or fresh cycle - and whether you need to synchronise your cycles.
Preparing for reciprocal IVF: What to expect at each stage
Medical assessments and lifestyle changes are all part of preparing for reciprocal IVF. Understanding what you can do before treatment can help you feel informed and ready for the process ahead.
Fertility testing
What fertility tests are done before reciprocal IVF? Typically you will have an AMH-test. This test measures the ovarian reserve to get an indication of the amount of eggs. You’ll probably also have an ultrasound scan to check the ovaries and uterus.
Genetic testing
Some couples choose to have a genetic screening to reduce the risk of having a child with a genetic disease. If you already know that you are a carrier of a specific condition, a Known Carrier Match can help find a genetically compatible donor.
Lifestyle changes and supplements for IVF
Preparing for treatment also includes taking care of yourself. A healthy, varied diet, regular exercise and avoiding smoking or excessive alcohol can have a positive affect on your fertility. It is also a good idea to take a folic acid supplement before getting pregnant.
How much does reciprocal IVF cost?
The cost of reciprocal IVF varies depending on the clinic you are having treatment, the location and whether you are having additional treatments. Prices typically range from €5000 to €15000 per cycle. Additional costs such as donor sperm, medication, embryo freezing and genetic testing may also affect the total amount.
In some countries, it is possible to get funding for fertility treatment. It usually depends on factors such as where you live and your age.
Looking for donor sperm prices? Get an overview on how much it costs using a sperm donor.
How successful is reciprocal IVF?
Success rates of reciprocal IVF is similar to success rates of standard IVF. It depends on different aspects such as age, fertility challenges and overall health. In general, the success rate is often higher if the partner providing the egg is under 35 years.
You can use success rates when you are researching clinics, but it's important to compare the figures accurately. Consider factors such as whether the data refers to fresh or frozen IVF cycles, and make sure you're looking at success rates for the relevant age group of the egg-providing partner.
Who is the legal parent when having reciprocal IVF?
The partner who gives birth is the legal parent and the non-birthing partner may be recognised as the legal parent if you are married, in a civil partnership or have filled out correct forms before starting treatment. In some countries, the non-birthing partner may need to adopt. Rules on parental rights can vary from country to country, and if you have any questions about your situation, please don’t hesitate to contact us.
Emotional and psychological aspects of shared motherhood
The journey of shared motherhood is both exciting and emotionally complex. It's natural to experience a range of emotions, from joy and anticipation to uncertainty. Communicating openly about these feelings can help both partners feel supported and connected. Many couples also find comfort in talking to others who are on a similar journey.
Read more about becoming parents as a same-sex family.
We can help you on your reciprocal IVF journey
At European Sperm Bank, we are here for you at every stage of the reciprocal IVF process. From selecting a donor to finding a fertility clinic - our advisors are here to answer your questions.
Get in touch with us and book a fertility consultation to start your reciprocal IVF journey.
Read more

How Holly and Rumer chose their sperm donor after getting caught up in every little detail
Rumer and Holly put a lot of pressure on themselves to choose the “perfect” sperm donor for their family. Now that their son Freddie is here, all that worrying seems far less important.

Laura and Eva went abroad to start a family
French couple Laura and Eva went to another country to get fertility treatment with donor sperm. Their journey was filled with ups and downs – and many logistical challenges. This blog post takes a closer look at the process of getting fertility treatment abroad.

Pregnancy options for lesbian couples: What you need to know
Many couples dream of becoming parents, and modern fertility treatments make this dream easier to achieve. This blog post focuses on the different options for fertility treatment if you want to start a same-sex family.