Biology doesn’t make a parent
Lærke is a donor-conceived young woman, who learned that she was not biologically linked to her father when she was 11 years old. That fuelled difficult emotions during her teenage years.
Her parents divorced when she was young, and she grew to be quite close with her stepfather.
“I had a more complicated relationship with my father, and I think I used the lack of a biological connection to explain our differences. As a teenager, I distanced myself from him,” she says.
Her father has passed away, and her complex relationship with her father affected her grief.
“His role in my life wasn’t very clear. Who is this person that I lost? What constitutes a father? Who is my father, and who is my stepfather, what are their roles?” she says of the thoughts she wrestled with.
Looking back, she has one advice she would have liked to give her teenage self:
“Don’t let the lack of biological connection be the reason to distance yourself from a parent.”
“Parents are parents not because of their biological material, but because of their actions, their care and their decision to become parents,” Lærke says.